There is nothing more important than feeling good.
Come again? Didn’t I just tell you how bad everything is!
When you feel good you raise your vibrations. You get what you prefer. You send out a frequency that brings you what you love.
When you feel miserable, you’re setting yourself up to miscreate your reality. Your pain is a signal for you to change. It’s a warning blip on the radar of your mind.
The easiest thing you can do to change your life is to feel good. Finding ways to feel good opens the pathways to your preference.
It is so much easier to feel good. It is so much easier to get into health, clarity, and love, when you feel good. And it is so much easier to create the life you want that way.
When you feel bad, you’re pointing your car down the wrong side of the freeway. Sooner or later, you’re going to hit an oncoming car.
You just don’t understand, do you?
I understand how you can feel badnothing is working out for you. Your bills aren’t paid and your rent is due and your car doesn’t work and your kids are out of control and your boss and coworkers hate you, and, and, and…but you just have to do it…you have to train yourself to feel good.
You see, all this is happening because you feel bad about what’s bad.
Yeah, right! So how do you feel good when everything is bad?
You fake ituntil you make it.
I gotcha! You’re a positive thinking nut!
This is not about positive thinking: this is about positive vibrating. Your brain is an electromagnetic generator. It throws out thoughts all the time that affect your body and your world. And it brings to itself thoughts of a similar kind. You get to feel more of what you’re already feeling and observe the circumstances to justify it.
Naturally, when bad things happen you react to them-but, this sets in motion more bad things to come your way. It’s a vicious circle, I know. I understand how unnatural and forced it feels to try and feel good when things are going badly…but, but…it’s the only way to turn things around.
And when you feel good, then good things start happening. Somehow, for some strange reason, you find more people who seem to like you, and you find new ideas and new solutions, and you have happy accidents that spontaneously take care of those horrible disasters. And people for some reason want to pay you more and help you more and just be around you more.
This is way too simple! Do you realize how much time I spend trying to figure things out?
I’d try to make this more complex if I knew how.
All I can say is that you always get to choose how you want to feel about anything.
If I were you, I’d start to feel good. Reasons why will soon start showing up.
Resource Box
Saleem Rana got his masters in psychotherapy from California Lutheran University, Thousand Oaks, Ca., 15 years ago and now resides in Denver, Colorado. His articles on the internet have inspired over ten thousand people from around the world. Discover how to create a remarkable life
Copyright 2005 Saleem Rana. Please feel free to pass this
article on to your friends, or use it in your ezine or
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The women at the cross. Have you ever thought about them?
Why not drift into a comfortable - and meditative - position
on a coach or in a chair and read verses 40 and 41 in Mark,
chapter 15?
When I read those words, one of my first thoughts was
“Gutsy!” I would not have wanted to watch.
Some folks that day watched because they were cruel and
insensitive people.
Not these women. They were there because they cared.
They did not know the answer to his cry, “My God, my God,
why have you forsaken me?”
* They were “just there.” There…
Watching.
Caring.
Grieving.
And probably wondering “Why?” along with Jesus.
Another thought I had as I reflected on this passage was
this: it is good to spend time “being there” with these
women.
It is an ugly scene. Brutality. Hatred. Sounds of
suffering.
Death.
Yet, in the midst of the horror, hatred and cruelty there is
a great deal of beauty.
It is the beauty of God’s love. God’s love for me.
And the love of these women for Jesus.
Yes, it is hard - but good - to spend time there and “watch”
with this caring group of women.
It is good to stop and reflect.
I WONDER WHAT THEY WOULD SAY TO ME?
While meditating on the entire scene, I wrote down the
following question:
“I wonder what they would say to me now as I sit in my
office and reflect on this?
What would Mary Magdalene say? And Mary, the mother of
Jesus - what would she tell me?”
The following is what I wrote down in answer to the question
I posed. I imagined that these women - the women at the
scene of the cross - would say something like this to me:
“Lee…
You can’t imagine the agony. You just can’t imagine. We
could hardly look.
Unbelievable. It was too awful for words. We felt so
helpless and hopeless.
But, we are on ‘this side’ of the cross now.
Like you.
And we say to you: ‘Spend some time here, Lee.’ Don’t
breeze past these few short lines in your Bible.
He suffered for a purpose. Never let your heart stray too
far from that one great truth.
You see, we heard him.
We heard him cry “Why?” We also heard him ask the Father to
forgive those in front of him.
Take strength in his love.
Take strength in the Father’s love.
To be sure, you should allow the pain of those moments to
bring pain to your heart.
But be quick to pray to him and ask him to guide you through
the process of seeing him there.
Then, ask him to give you a deep, abiding sense of his being
with you here…
In your world.
In your heart.
On this side of the cross.
And pray for your world, Lee. Don’t forget that. Let our
Savior’s agony be your motivation to pray for people.
People like us.
We needed him - more than we realized at the moment.
More than a person we loved. More than the one we called
“the Messiah.”
We needed him as our Savior.
Just like the world does.
The people of the world need him, Lee.
Where you were raised.
The city where you received your education.
Where you were in Viet Nam.
They *all* need him.
Think about that - and embrace him. Embrace him with all
your heart.
Believe us. You will never regret that.
You see, Lee, we’re with him now. We see him in a much
different light. We cannot even begin to describe him to
you as we see him now.
But you will know - someday.
You will know.
So hold on. Come here often to take a look.
But also look beyond the agony of the cross, his death, and
his burial. Be sure you see something else we saw: the
empty tomb.
We’ll look forward to ’seeing’ you there with us.
Standing in awe.
Worshipping.
And growing to love him more there before the empty
grave.
May our wonderful, living Savior bless your day, brother.
Saved by his love,
The women at the cross.”
YOUR TURN…
May I encourage you to read Mark 15 and 16 — stopping long
enough at the cross to think about what happened on that sad
day? But, please don’t stay there. Move on from the cross
to the resurrection.
And your reflections are…? Maybe a few key words?
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
Yours for a day filled with hope in Jesus,
Lee
(John 15:16)
____________________________________
© Lee Wise All rights reserved. You may freely distribute
this article. The copyright and this resource box must be
included. http://abeautifulmomentintime.blogspot.com
Avoid pain/create pleasure. For A Beautiful Moment In Time
go here –> http://www.motivation-for-daily-living.net
Self esteem.
Now there’s a well used and little understood term. Self esteem seems to be one of those terms that we frequently use without really knowing exactly what it means. Just what is this self esteem thing? And where do you go to get some? I’ve never seen a self esteem store at the mall. Not yet any way.
Many people tend to define self esteem as the way you feel about yourself, which seems to be a little redundant. For the sake of this column, let’s define self esteem as the perceptions and beliefs you have about yourself.
Having said all that, let’s focus in on a quick and simple way to improve your self esteem.
One of the quickest and simplest methods for improving your self esteem is simply to rate it on what I call the Self Esteem Rating Scale(TM).
Here’s how it works: on a scale of one to ten, with one being the worst and ten being the best, rate your self esteem in these four ways?:
1) what it is now
2) the worst it’s ever been
3) the best it’s ever been
4) how you would like it to be
Now, having done that (if you haven’t done that, go back and do it before you read on, it just takes a few seconds!) consider these things:
What were you doing when it was the worst that you might need to eliminate?
What were you doing when it was the best that you might need to resume doing, continue doing, or do more of in the future?
If your self esteem now is higher than the worst it’s ever been, what did you do to change it that you might want to continue to do?
Now take a look at the difference between what your self esteem is now and what you would like it to be. The difference is the ground you need to cover to improve your self esteem. Now for a seemingly bizarre and unrelated question. How do you like your pizza? Just bare with me here. However you like it, what would happen if you tried to eat an extra large version of it in one bite? That’s right, you couldn’t do it and would probably choke. So you slice it into smaller pieces and then take even smaller bites to accomplish the task.
It’s the same way with self esteem. For example, let’s say your self esteem is now a five and you would like it to be a ten. That’s a difference of five self esteem levels. If you tried to jump from a five to a ten all at once, you would probably become frustrated, discouraged and give up. It’s just to big a leap.
What you can do is begin to break it into manageable pieces by asking yourself “What will it take to move from a five to a six, a six to a seven?” , and so on. In this way you are biting off manageable chunks that will give you the opportunity to achieve small successes, which can then motivate you on to the bigger successes of accomplishing your self esteem goal.
While using the Self Esteem Rating Scale can be a quick and easy way to improve your self esteem, that’s not to say it won’t involve some struggles. And that’s a good thing because I believe there is value in the struggle. A patient of mine recently shared the following wonderful story about butterflies and the value of struggling.
Now if you have ever had the privilege of watching the amazing process of a butterfly leaving its cocoon, you know its quite a struggle. Well, it seems some scientists, in their esteemed wisdom, found a way to get butterflies out of their cocoons without a struggle. What they found however, was that the butterflies that had to struggle out of their cocoons lived longer, flew better, and were more beautiful than the butterflies that were removed without a struggle.
Besides saying something about the value of the struggle, I believe it also says something to us about the difference between science and success!
Maybe it’s like something Tom Hanks said in the movie “A League of Their Own.” One of the players was complaining about how hard something was and Hanks responded, “Of course it’s hard. That’s what makes it good.” Or perhaps it’s like I say to many of my patients who want to change their self esteem, “I won’t promise you the struggle will be easy, just worth it.”
Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 28, 2002
I feel I am at the breaking point. I work at a small school and run the office. I do all the financials, secretarial work, and reception duties. While staffing has increased in the classroom, it has not in administration.
I shared my feeling with the principal on Monday and clearly stated things must change. Teachers need to take more responsibility for their own tasks instead of bringing them to the office via students or teacher aides.
The principal gave a huge lecture to teachers about overloading, looking out for each other, and making sure family life has priority. I felt better. Then he told me he was leaving at 11:30 a.m. and in future would take every Thursday off!
That automatically increases my workload. I resolved not to work overtime, which is usually unpaid, but yesterday was so busy I needed to in order to get my real work done. Everyone else left early!
I enjoy the job and need to work, but no one takes me seriously including my husband who tells me how wonderful I am. I am tired of being superwoman. We have children and visitors from overseas for several months, and I feel any day I will lose my mind!
Blake
Blake, you are hardworking, clever, and do your job well. You need to use that cleverness and work ethic to devise a solution.
You’ve done the most important thing by talking to the principal. He’s already given the speech. In fact, he took a page from what you are feeling and applied it to himself. That sounds awful, but it frees you to act without having to explain your position to everyone.
Your job is like a square box. It doesn’t matter how many people want to put more in the box. When the box is full, it is full. Once other people understand that, they will go look for another box.
Begin with your main duties and center your day around these items. Each time someone brings other work, decide if you can reasonably do it. If you can’t, send it back or offer to show that person how they can do it for themselves. At quitting time, the box is full. Grab your purse and go.
On Thursdays, explain the principal is unavailable. Don’t offer to take messages or handle the situation yourself. At home, tell your husband you are now trading compliments for a load of laundry and help with the dishes. Integrate your house guests into the normal family chores and routine. Most guests actually enjoy it!
Being superwoman is not a compliment, it is a job description. If you don’t reduce your stress level, one day you will quit your job because you simply cannot bear it. No one will gain from that.
Wayne & Tamara
Predicting The Past
My girlfriend thinks I fancy her sister even though I don’t. She and her sister live together so you can imagine the tension. It’s now at the stage that I’m not allowed to talk to her sister or be in the same room with her.
My girlfriend has been hurt before, and that is where this is coming from. She’s afraid I will go off with her sister, though this will never happen. What can I do to help her get over this?
Roland
Roland, if you swear on a bible or promise to put your own eyes out, it is still not enough to satisfy a jealous person. Jealousy is about fear, control and power, not love.
You need to nip this pattern of accusation and denial in the bud. When you talk to your girlfriend, don’t coddle her or try to convince her. That only feeds her jealousy. Let her know she has a choice. She can lose one past boyfriend to his misdeeds, or she can continue to accuse you and lose a second.
Tamara
About The Author
Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.
Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
