STEP #3
Experts are experts because they’re not the ones who are confused.
The only way you can continue to be an expert is to make sure that you’re always one step ahead of your targets. If you lose that edge, then they are the experts and they’ll lose a reason to come back to you.
Since the shelf-life of your expertise is dependent on repeat visits, it’s important to have just the right amount of confusion in your presentation to keep people wondering and asking for more.
STEP #3, CONFUSE THEM JUST ENOUGH
There are lots of ways to do this. One is to tell the targets that there are Ten Steps and, instead of naming the steps in sequence for all to see (running the risk that someone will just read the steps and say, “That’s all I need…thanks!” and then go to the next web page or book), they make up an intro for each step and then don’t give out the step until somewhere in the body of the text.
The important thing is that the people keep relating to whatever it is you’re offering in the belief that you’ve got what they don’t. With just the right distribution of confusion, you can keep the target feeling like he or she is actually learning something - or even better still, come to the conclusion that he or she will never be the expert.
If you say it directly, they’ll say, “Of course I already knew that!” But if you obscure the obvious just a little, the target feels like they actually discovered something valuable - through you, of course and that’s the most important part.
Remember, you’re not in the business of offering something tangible, you’re in the business of being an expert.
Because you are an expert, you are privy to information that is beyond the scope of most of the people who turn to you for your expertise. As such, it’s important to refer to information that you know is just a little beyond their ability to grasp. Maybe even your own. That’s the beauty of it. You don’t have to really know, it just has to look like it.
One of the most effective ways to do this is to quote from a source that has absolutely nothing to do with your subject. If you present it as a metaphor for your subject, your targets will assume that you, since you’re the expert, can grasp the obvious connotation, whereas they cannot. What that does is make them turn to you for an even more exhaustive explanation. Oddly enough, this usually costs them money.
Take the whole idea of being an expert. It’s about ideas. Let me quote an expert on an amazing amount of things. On page 163 of “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind” Chuck Barris explains, in dialogue quoting his future wife, “If they’re big enough to fill a champagne glass, they’re adequate. And mine fill a champagne glass easily. If I had a champagne glass, I’d show you.”
Fear not. That doesn’t mean you actually have to be able to explain yourself. It just means you have to provide them with enough information to keep them in the loop until you present them with another piece of confusion that will then shift their attention off the previously unanswered question - and prompt them to take out their credit card.
And remember…citing the book and page and author is important. That ensures no one will check you for accuracy.
But the most important part of this “art” is to be able to arm yourself with just enough information to keep them in the game.
Is this all clear?
STEP #4
Now that you’ve figured out your 10 Steps, chosen the proper name, and weaved in just the right amount of confusion into what you offer, it’s time to let everybody know you’re human, just like them.
Why would you choose to do that? Some Native American somewhere once told me that the reason Medicine Men were so crazy was that, “How else could they counsel you except that they know the pain of what you’re going through.” Wait a minute…what I meant to say was Chief Whipping Horse, pHd of the Chayonne in lower Kansas, in his book, Indiginity on page 469 said that…
Actually, were it not for that venerable old Chief, I never would have become the expert I am. The times I spent with him, in an incredibly un-Western way, put me through all the trials one could ever expect of someone seeking expertise. Can you imagine 14 days without food and water on the top of a water tower praying for a vision of what to be an expert about? Do you think for a second I don’t understand the suffering you’re going through?
I mean, look, I came to this dopey web site hoping someone could teach me how to be taken seriously as an expert. Until this article I had enough rejection letters in my house to turn them into papercrete and lay a foundation for a new one. Just like you. What I found is no one knows squat so I had to figure it out myself.
Have I hooked you yet?
And, by the way, here’s another free tip: Don’t be afraid to throw in a word in passing that no one knows anything about. Just like you and the word “papercrete,” you won’t spend a second looking up what it refers to - or even if it’s real. You’ll just assume, “Hell, he’s the expert, it must slop over into lots of things.” And not only that, but he’s the expert who was humble enough to seek an expert like the Chief.
And so, since I know you’ve been waiting a long time for me to spring Step Four on you, here it is.
STEP #4 FIND MENTORS AND USE THEM
No one wants to think their guides always had it figured out. Hell, even Moses had a mentor. It’s so important that you make sure people know that at one time you were just as ignorant as them. The more ignorant the better. But it’s even more important that people believe that you, too, turned to someone else for help.
There are so many potential mentors out there it’s ridiculous. And they are all mentors because they want to be. Why? Because the more mentees they have, the more credibility they have as experts. Catch the cycle?
And that’s kind of a sub-section of this Step: Gather a lot of Mentees.
And let me tell you another thing. This country is so hooked on perception, somebody with cachet is bound to start using “mentees” as a word to describe people who seek mentors. Why? Because that expert Drew Kissinger used it so it must be valid. (See how the name choice works for you?) The word sounds right, doesn’t it? Three years from now, you just watch, it’ll be in Funken-Wagnells.
But I digress…
How do you get those mentors? Start writing letters. No e-mails. Real letters, sent by snail mail and with no return e-mail or web site information. Why? You need something back with a signature.
Now I wouldn’t be an expert if I advised you to do anything illegal. In fact, please, don’t do anything illegal, unconscionable or even inconsolable, like make up your own quote and forge an important persons name on to it who was stupid or senile enough to respond. (Now THAT’s a directory I ought to sell, “Famous and Powerfully Important Senile People Who’ll Write You Back.”). Even if you know damn well no one who could do you any damage will read your cheap Print-on-Demand book with the person’s endorsement on it.
Nobody writes you back? No problem. This takes a little bit more work but it’s worth it. Go back to Step Two, where you chose your name. Then, find the most exceptional mentors you can find who’ve written books. Invariably they will mention names in their texts of brilliant minds who have helped them along the way and then quote them by first name.
Pick your own first name as one that reoccurs through a number of your targeted mentor’s books, or a first name that appears in a number of articles by different authors and then quote from them as if they were talking about you. Don’t forget the Third Step, either.
On the book jacket, it’d say something like, “Look at what people have to say about Drew… ‘Drew was forever meddling in affairs of state, needling congressmen to do his bidding, even writing speeches for them to deliver on the floor.’ Jack Anderson, as quoted in Getting the Scoop by Mark Feldstein.
Man…that Drew guy is quite the expert!
An important addendum to Step Number Two is to make sure you choose a first name that is a bit more common than Drew. It took me a good half hour to scare up this quote. That’s much too long for an expert to spend on such nonsense.
That leads to another free tip (You’re Welcome!): BEFORE you write your Ten Steps, try them out first so you don’t get stuck like I did, in the middle of my text.
When English EFL, ESL or foreign language learning students ask you, “Teacher, what can I do to learn more words faster?” Here’s an answer that will serve you and them handsomely. Create your own TEFL vocabulary building games, activities and puzzles to boost your vocabulary in record time. Not sure how to go about it? Here are some suggestions:
Complete the Chart
First fill in a chart of foods under categories like:
• Fruits
• Vegetables
• Meats and Proteins
• Fish and Sea foods
• Dairy Products
• Cereals and starches
You can use a dictionary, talk with classmates or friends, look at pictures, etc. whatever you can to get yourself the biggest list you can as fast as you can. Once you have a good “stash” of vocabulary, reinforce it by using it in other activities like the ones that follow.
Create a Word-Find puzzle
Make a 15 space by 15 space grid on a letter-size sheet. You can use a computer or manually draw one. Leave space at the top of the page for a title and other data. There should be an even larger space at the bottom of the sheet. This is going to be the space for your word list. Now, using any of the words from your chart, make a list of about 25 to 30 words at the bottom of your puzzle page. Then, fill in the grid spaces using those words. Horizontally, vertically, diagonally, even backwards will do to use up as many spaces as you can.
If you’re using this exercise in a class, students swap papers to solve each other’s puzzles. They can also check for errors, omissions and missing words or letters. You’ll be using peer correction to its fullest.
Categories to Be Used
Word lists are created using relevant themes from the class. Examples of “evergreen” themes which can be used repeatedly include:
• Clothes and colors
• Occupations - Jobs
• Food and food categories
• Parts of the body
• Furniture and Rooms of the House
• Animals and Pets
• Cities in your state or country
• Cities and Countries of the World
• Famous - Historic People and Places
• Verbs (Regular or Irregular)
• Music (artists, types of, instruments, etc.)
The list of possibilities is virtually endless. You’ll also be able to use these same categories and word lists in other exercise types coming up in Part 2 of this series.
Three of my favorite puzzle creation programs are available online:
• Puzzle Maker website www.puzzlemaker.com is the simplest and easiest of the trio of puzzle creation programs. It will also allow you to create word finds and other puzzle types. It’s available free online, can be learned in a few minutes and doesn’t require downloads or prior knowledge.
• Hot Potato website for creating puzzles http://web.uvis.ca/hrd/halfbaked/ is fairly simple to manage, although more complex than Puzzle Maker. A demo version is available for free online, with the full version requiring only free registration if you’re in the USA.
If you love flashy colors, are an artist who paints, draws, cartoons, creates or crafts, then your brain is highly - developed in the visual - spatial area. Do jigsaw puzzles increment and stimulate your brain? Then visit this website for more info and to try your hand at some visual - spatial activities. You can create or associate word lists to accompany each of the puzzles offered for free download at:
• Jigsaw puzzle free downloads http://zone.msn.com/deluxegames/
We’ll continue in Part 2 of this series with more suggestions for developing English language vocabulary at the fastest possible rate for learning English as a foreign or second language. The same techniques exactly apply for developing foreign language vocabulary. In the next section we will focus on creating specialized puzzles like cross word puzzles, using the same vocabulary lists you’ve already developed. See you in Part 2.
For Part 2 of this article go to: http://bettereflteacher.blogspot.com
Prof. Larry M. Lynch is a bi-lingual copywriter, expert author and photographer specializing in business, travel, food and education-related writing in South America. His work has appeared in Transitions Abroad, South American Explorer, Escape From America, Mexico News and Brazil magazines. He now lives in Colombia and teaches at a university in Cali. Want lots more free tips, help and information on language learning, public speaking, writing and mental skills development? Go now to: http://bettereflteacher.blogspot.com Be sure to ask for your free, in - depth special report on making yourself smarter using these strategies with sample practice activities.
When my daughter was very young, one night she was saying her prayers. She paused and asked me, “Mom, if I pray for a rainbow, will God make one?” Well, what could I say? Anyone who can part the Red Sea, can make a rainbow for a six-year-old. I hem-hawed around for a few seconds, and then told her that, yes, if she believed… Then I thought, “What have I done? What if there’s no rainbow tomorrow? What if there are no clouds? And if there are, what if it doesn’t rain? I’ve hurt the faith of this little one!”
The next day, there was not a cloud in the sky. Of course. Great. Now Mom’s a liar. It was Memorial Day, so we went to the cemetery to pay our respects. We were walking around, and I had hoped she had forgotten about the rainbow prayer. Apparently she had, but I had not. The scriptures say that if you believe, basically God gives you what you pray for, if you ask in Jesus’ (Yeshua’s) name. I was having some worrisome thoughts as we walked through that cemetery. Then we came upon a section which was being watered with sprinklers. Lo and behold, there was Robin’s rainbow, just as plain as day. It was almost as if God was saying, “See? Oh you of little faith. I can make it happen, even when it seems impossible.” I wish the story ended there, but it doesn’t. I saw it, but I didn’t see it for what it was, until later. I didn’t recognize it, to show her that God had answered her prayer.
Her little simple prayer was a huge lesson for me. He answered her prayer, as it turns out, for me. How many times have I missed the blessing? Now I look for answered prayers in whatever form they might take.
I guessed I would forgive her for the oatmeal dumped between the wall and the refrigerator. And telling the neighbor she had a “mold” on her face. And, saying, “huh, uh… no Mom, this is what you said,” when I was trying to be a little too polite in conversation. And wallpapering the hall with stick-on feminine napkins… Sigh… I miss those days.
© 2005 Dianne James
This article is an excerpt of the Laugh Out Loud comedy section of Meander Magazine, an online news and information site with articles on a variety of subjects. Dianne James is the publisher and editor-in-chief of www.meandermagazine.com
More on Dianne’s background can be found in Meander Magazine’s Gallery 2, and her writing can be found in many sections of the magazine. Sections include International and World News, Business, Garden, Health, Spirit, Pets, Auto, Food, Earth, Music, Movies, Over 40, Art, Galleries, and the San Luis Valley (of southern Colorado) section. Recently included on the site, Meander Radio, where you can find lots of comedy.
At present you can suss out rates of interest quickly at websites and assure if there are possible sneaky traps you should be aware of. of the merchant banks wil show you a interest rate that looks effective but feels severely or so after some time. Be saucy today to check out if you have a nice bargain or if you don’t with the bank that offers you a credit loan. A moneylender in Encinitas California or so can have a total totally different actual loan rate for a 17500 dollar bank loan then a merchant bank in Fort Lauderdale Florida and that makes a vast clear gap in your weekly costs. It makes no difference if you live in Lubbock Texas or in Atlanta Georgia a beneficial online investigation will economize you often lots of inconvenience. 4.1 percent rate of interest may look so mediocre but will that be unvarying after you’re going to pay off your money loan. This is why now you need to look into and understand if you can have a loan at a fine percent rate. Analyze to see if the merchant bank who wants to give you a money loan is untrustworthy.
The translation says: Woon je in Dalfsen of Vianen en heb je BKR codering. Lenen met een BKR registratie is nog nooit zo eenvoudig geweest. Koop een nieuwe caravan met geld lenen zonder bkr toetsing, 241062 euro is gewoon mogelijk om te lenen. Van Dongen tot Zoetermeer, geld lenen met zonder BKR registratie is hier geen enkel probleem.
Debt consolidation companies
The New Year is nearly here and it got me thinking about the likely increase in numbers of regular folk needing help with personal finance issues and the inevitable deluge of ‘money saving’ tips and advice that’s likely to ensue.
I’m thinking debt consolidation services here in particular . . . I imagine that many consumers will have over spent in the Christmas period and that a few will wake up with a bit of a financial hangover. But I’m also wondering what affect the credit crunch will have had on the debt consolidation industry, specifically in relation to the recent demise of the secured loan market.
Anyhow, I put together a quick list of useful debt consolidation resources where you will be able to find lots of useful debt advice on personal debt and debt consolidation issues. Please note that I’m not endorsing any of these debt consolidation resources . . . they’re just a list of useful websites I found when researching debt consolidation myself.
The sites are a mix of commercial, not-for profit and informational resources offering a wide range of help and debt advice with debt consolidation, including debt consolidation loans and alternative debt solutions such as free debt management plans and general personal finance advice.
As ever, I’d suggest you use your own judgement when using this debt consolidation resource list:
PS: As far as I can tell the specifics of ‘debt consolidation’ are taking out one larger loan in order to repay all your existing debts and consolidate your repayment into the new (and presumably lower) monthly payment.
www.debtadvisersdirect.co.uk/
www.debtadvisersdirect.co.uk/debt-consolidation/debt-consolidation.asp
www.cccs.co.uk
www.thinkmoney.com/debt/debt-consolidation/
www.nationaldebtline.co.uk
www.gregorypennington.com/debt-consolidation-loan.asp
www.adviceguide.org.uk
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Several years ago, I switched health insurance companies and my new insurer sent a uniformed nurse with short black hair to my house to conduct a health assessment. We sat at my kitchen table and she officiously asked questions about my health history.
“Diabetes?” she asked, as if accusing me of illicit drug use.
“No,” I answered.
“Cancer?” Nope.
“High blood pressure?” Nope.
When she’d completed the questionnaire, she reached into a portable metal case and retrieved a white plastic cup. “Last thing I’ll need is a urine sample,” she said, sliding the cup toward me across the wooden table.
I took the cup to my bathroom, set it on the white tile counter, unzipped my jeans, sat down, and promptly started thinking about something else. Many long seconds later, I stood, re-zipped my jeans, and, still absorbed in my thoughts, looked down to find the empty plastic cup waiting on the tile counter.
My consciousness careened back to the present. The cup!! How could I forget to fill the cup?!! I picked it up and held it at eye level. The cup seemed larger somehow, and infinitely unfillable, like a gigantic movie prop from “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.” I set it back down and considered my options.
I could fill the cup with water and “trip” on my way out of the bathroom. I could invent an excuse involving dehydration or bladder shyness. I could wedge through the narrow window above the bathtub and flee to the airport.
Realizing none of these schemes would work, I ultimately had to admit to the nurse that I’d forgotten what I’d gone to the bathroom for. “I can drink a bunch of water and try again in a few minutes,” I offered.
“That’s okay,” she said, grabbing the empty cup and dropping it into her metal box. “I’ll come back tomorrow. I have nothing better to do.”
I’d like to report this was an aberrant bout of absent-mindedness, something that could be chalked up to cold medication or a fight with my mother. But the fact is, I tend to forget. A lot. And it’s getting worse.
In the last several months, I’ve left my purse in two Mexican restaurants, a coffee shop, the trunk of a friend’s car, and a department store dressing room. Two weeks ago, I removed a nozzle from my garden hose and spent the latter part of that afternoon trying, in vain, to discover where I’d placed it.
The scary part for me is that over the last few months I’ve also been going to a Zen Center in an effort to practice meditation and mindfulness. One of my goals has been to become less forgetful by being more fully present. Or, to paraphrase a popular Buddhist saying, “To pee here now.”
But I’ve even forgotten things at the Zen Center, like the time I misplaced my purse before an important ceremony and had nothing to contribute to the fight against world hunger.
The increasing bouts of absent-mindedness had been worrying me, and the jokes from friends about early Alzheimer’s were starting to be not so hilarious. But last week I got some valuable insight into absent-mindedness when I completed an assessment called the Gregore Style Delineator.
This assessment groups people into four types based on how they value certain words. The word “lively,” for example, struck me as more appealing than “rational.” I liked the word “spontaneous” better than “trouble shooter.”
When the results of my word valuations were tabulated, I was shown to be a clear “Abstract Random,” whose negative characteristics include a proclivity towards “flightiness,” and an inattention to detail which often earns them the title of — and I’m quoting directly from the assessment — “an off-the-wall flake.”
However, in reviewing the assessment, I learned there are several good reasons why Abstract Randoms — “A-Rs” for short — appear so flighty. For starters, and I’m bragging only a little here, A-Rs have vivid imaginations, a tremendous capacity to absorb and relate seemingly unrelated facts, and they often divert their attention only to that which has personal meaning. (A urine cup? I don’t think so.)
Furthermore, A-Rs rarely work in a sterile office with an orderly desk. Instead, and I plead guilty, the office of an A-R is located in whatever coffee shop she happens to be working in. Her filing cabinet is in her head.
Needless to say, I found these results reassuring. As a journalist, I’m paid to find connections between people and the events that surround them. Thus, I have to spend time musing about life and what it means, and sometimes the best time for musing is when I’m doing some other mindless task. So what if I forget a purse in the process?
All of this has gotten me to thinking about something I learned in a novel writing class and that is that a character’s greatest strength is also her biggest weakness.
It’s certainly true in my case, but it’s also true of many people: the brilliant physician who focuses so intently on healing a patient’s body that he neglects to comfort her soul; the quick-thinking marketing whiz who’s hugely intolerant of people who don’t “get it” as quickly as he does. Even Einstein, from what I hear, couldn’t remember his own address or phone number.
The point I’m trying to make, and I’m not at all defensive about this, is that no one is strong in all facets of human behavior. Some of us are good with people, others with data; some are logical, others reactive; some pay attention, others… what were we talking about? Anyway, chances are, the better you are at one end of the spectrum, the worse you’ll be at the other. How many visual artists do you know who could run an accounting firm?
Instead of judging a person’s weaknesses, wouldn’t it be kinder to recognize her strengths and offer to drive her to the restaurant where she left her car keys the night before? I think so.
Copyright, 2005, Shari Caudron.
Shari Caudron is an award-winning columnist, writing coach, and author of “What Really Happened,” a collection of humorous stories about the lessons life teaches you when you least expect it. Shari regularly delivers speeches to women’s groups about how to transform ordinary experiences into opportunities for personal growth.
Website: http://www.sharicaudron.com
e-mail: shari@sharicaudron.com
Kefalari Suites is a 4 star hotel in Athens, located in 1 Pentelis & Kolokotroni str.
The “Kefalari Suites” hotel is a luxury complex distinguished by the fact that each of its twelve suites has a particular decorative theme characterized by its name. For example, on the third floor, the Deck House is a simple yet stylish wooden suite with bright colors and a private veranda. Our Saddle Room, Melody and Malmaison suites have their own characteristic and cultural atmosphere of higher aesthetic and convenience while the Jaipur and Africa suites give our guests a sense of the magic of the Far East and the exotic African continent.
All suites consist of two main rooms, a bedroom with a queen size bed and a sitting room equipped with a kitchenette and a mini-bar. Moreover, all suites have air-conditioning, double glazing, computer and modem facilities, a desk and a dining table. On our roof top Sun Deck there is also a jacuzzi available for all the hotel’s guests.
The philosophy of “The Kefalari Suites” is for each guest to feel that they have their own comfortable and yet private space, in a warm and friendly environment. Special emphasis is given to a personal service to meet our clients’ needs throughout their stay.
The "Kefalari Suites" hotel offers the following:
private check-in area
kitchenette
refrigerator & mini-bar
air-conditioning
veranda or balcony
jacuzzi & sun deck
safe
fax/modem
PC
Hi-Fi
Other than AccommodationZ.com, our network also includes Reserver.it (where we list more than 2500 Hotels in Italy with secure online reservation) and Siteseeings.com, where you can make reservations for sightseeings in Italy, tours in Rome and also in the Amalfi Coast.
The Federal Trade Commission has allowed two laptops to be stolen in Scottsdale, Arizona which contained personal information of one hundred and ten employees. Yep personal information like social security numbers, date of birth, names and addresses too. Can you believe the utter incompetence of this? Remember the Federal Trade Commission is suppose to be in charge of Identity Theft not violate its own employees personal information? How can an agency which is suppose to protect the American People from things like Phishing, SPAM, SPIT and Identity Theft allow this to happen? What incompetence indeed.
The report states; ” The personal information was gathered in law enforcement investigations and included, variously, names, addresses, Social Security numbers, dates of birth, and in some instances, financial account numbers.” Holy Toledo, what a major screw up, this really looks bad doesn’t it? Do you feel safe now with your personal information? I sure do not? So what is the FTC doing about it now? Oh nothing really they opened an investigation to cost taxpayer’s more money on top of the stolen laptops and called the FBI to help them sense obviously the Federal Trade Commission cannot stop Identity Theft? Consider all this in 2006.
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Lance Winslow |
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Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.
HOW TO DO EVERYTHING WITH …XP
–Or, are you sure Windows XP can fly me to the moon and back? –
The world is moving at a break-neck speed these days, so it’s no wonder we’re impressed as heck with turbo-charged racing cars, bored out of our trees with fast food, and whacked out of our gourds by something called jet lag.
And, since every problem needs a solution including where to find the best beer in town, who insisted on moving my cheese, and why Godot hasn’t arrived yet, it’s not surprising someone had to write a masterpiece like “How to Do Everything with Windows XP”.
For residents of planet earth who don’t own book let alone a computer, dweebs who haven’t got a clue how to operate a laptop, a DVD player, or an iPod for that matter and dingbats who prefer using a pencil and paper - this breathtaking book will regrettably do nothing to improve their lot in life.
It would be nice to think that computer hardware and software is a match made in heaven. But few of us understand the intricate workings of these digital doom machines that often go belly up from back-door bugs, virulent viruses, and nefarious nuisances called Trojan horses.
So, I’m not inclined to put too much faith in a book or a machine that guarantees my life will be worry-free, painless, and cost less than a visit to the Tooth Fairy-Godfather.
Methinks it’s a tad presumptuous on the part of the author to suggest that I can do everything with “Windows-XP”. Is there nothing this awesome piece of magic can’t do?
I admit I can’t pull rabbits out of a hat. But please tell me again how “Windows-XP” will help me do the following list of daily chores that keep me fit as a fiddle, peachy keen, not to mention at one with the universe of all things great and small?
– Sing saucy songs at the top of my lungs in the shower just to annoy my high-brow, nosey-poking, next-door neighbor.
– Brush my teeth to remove the grunge (tartar) and make my breath fragrant as all get out (so other living creatures will feel comfortable in my presence).
– Relieve myself occasionally and conveniently when the spirit moves me.
– Talk compassionately to my pet rock “Godot”.
– Feed my rather sparse-leafed money tree named “Kaching”.
– Walk my miniature rottweiler “Sir Galahad” (and of course pick up after him with those brand-named doggy bags).
– Meditate on life without monsters, telemarketers, and virtual reality TV shows.
– Unplug, debottleneck, and take power naps (whichever comes first).
– Separate recyclables and transport the refuse to designated bins marked “paper only”, “glass”, “plastic”, and “everything else but the kitchen sink”.
– Prepare my favorite comfort food, “bangers and mash” (i.e. well cooked pork and mashed potatoes garnished with gobs of calorie-laden butter and gravy).
My humble advice is stay away from digital devices and books that tell you how easy it is to operate them. Whenever you feel the urge to know more about a dingus or purchase a doodad that does everything, just visit a kindergarten nearby and ask the little tikes how to have fun.
And, as every kid at heart knows, you don’t need another bleeping book or the latest bit of bling-bling to know you’re alive and how to have fun!!
About the Author
Theolonius McTavish, a quirky curmudgeon whose mirthful meanderings include slow food, slow motion, and slow dating in that order of magnitude (provided he’s not interrupted by perplexing potshots from the ripsnorting realm of The Quipping Queen — www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com)
